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The Counselor Corner ~ December 2018

 

Are We Too Accommodating?

While watching the news this month, there was an interesting and very insightful interview with
Dr. Ryan Loss from Connecticut Behavior Health. He discussed the impact of what he calls “parental overaccommodation”.
What this means is that parents/guardians take away any obstacles or adversities that
children may face on a daily basis. By doing so, it impacts the child’s development of healthy and
independent coping and problem-solving skills.

Working in the education field, we see children growing more dependent on others to help them
fix simple problems or even cope with losing a game or not being able to go first in an activity. At school
children are taught to practice appropriate cooperative play skills and cope with the feelings of sadness,
anger, nervousness, and disappointment. Practicing these skills needs to be carried over into the home,
even if it causes behavior such as meltdowns/tantrums. By over-accommodating our children, it can
start as a small problem, but can later lead to bigger issues (ex: children becoming upset over the amount
of homework and expect parents to let their teacher know or not make them do it).

The best strategy to use to ensure your child develops appropriate coping and problem-solving
skills is to let them struggle a little. Children need to understand that life is not perfect and does not
always go the way we envision it. But, when you can see the big picture and know that sometimes we
have bumps in the road, or “little problems/glitches”, but we can solve them and will be okay.
For the full interview, you can watch it on: https://www.wtnh.com/on-air/good-morning-ctweekend/the-impact-of-parental-over-accommodation/1604833940

 

The Counselor Corner:
Mrs. Paredes, School Psychologist & Ms. Sweeney, Social Worker

December 2018 Tiger Times